How to cope when your closed one has been diagnosed with Cancer

Kaajal Gunputh Kaajal Gunputh Aug 12, 2018 855 0

How to cope when your closed one has been diagnosed with Cancer

WAYS TO COPE WHEN ONE OF YOUR CLOSED ONES IS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER

                Receiving a cancer diagnosis for someone you love is probably the last thing you would want to go through. It’s a scary and very life changing experience. After my grandma was diagnosed, we were all entering a new world with lots of puzzling terminologies, depressing survivor rates and a doubtful future. It is terrifying but it’s not always fatal.

People who receive a cancer diagnosis very often tend to live with it as part of their daily lives. They undergo treatment and still carry on with their lives. I once met a lady who was in her fourth stage of cancer but still going to work and trying to lead a normal life.  We should understand it well that a diagnosis is not the end but the beginning of a reality; and this new reality is coming with lots of medications, waiting rooms and also many, many appointments which can sometimes be too much for a person to handle. This is where your presence, understanding and support plays an important role.

According to a survey by world Cancer Research Fund, there were about 14.1 million cancer cases diagnosed worldwide in 2012, and this number is expected to increase to 24 million by 2035; which means a lot more people will have to go through this unfortunate experience.

Below are some tips on how should you cope with someone diagnosed with cancer. After personally going through this situation, I believe these tips will definitely help you supporting your loved one through this new journey.

 

  • Remain calm

It’s very important for you to stay calm and in control. There will be many emotional moments where you will be overwhelmed and get swayed. Emotions usually come in the following stages- grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. When you will be going through all this, imagine your loved one how must they be feeling?  You will have to stay calm at all times and make sure that everything is in place right from health cards to appointments and medications. You should also pay special attention to their mental health as very often, cancer patients are prone to go into depression. Above all, you should make sure to stay positive and to make your loved one also feel positive.

  • Focus on the individual case

 Each patient is different and same for each cancer and diagnosis. Hence, there is no point in comparing your case to others or reading several stuffs or stories on the internet. Its better to concentrate on the facts. Usually when someone had been diagnosed with cancer, they don’t hear anything beyond the word “cancer”, they can’t and concentrate on anything else. Here your role is important, you should present to them facts about their case and remind them of the hopes and positive points.

  • Accompany them to their appointments

This little thing will definitely mean a lot to them. Visit to the doctor is usually filled with Information and emotions and having someone you love you by your side is comforting and helps you stay focused. Accompanying them will also let you have a better understanding of their upcoming treatments and tests and also their progress. Doctors often have the habit of talking quickly which can confuse your loved ones. If you are there, you can be their voice to ask any of the questions going on in their mind and also ask for any doubts going on in your mind.

  • Stay informed

The more you know about it, the better but make sure you are researching from reliable sources. It’s better to ask all your questions to a health care professional. Many doctors believe that allowing patients to ask the “what if” questions allows them to focus on healing. While it’s important to know all the facts, you should not jump to any conclusions no matter what the situation.

  • Listen and support your loved one

Same as you, even they are having a lot running around in their mind. Sometimes talking out to each other about your fears is important. Very often, patients just want to be asked how are they feeling, even though you know they are struggling. You should ensure that they know you are always available to talk to them at any time they need; and may sure you ask them about it every once in awhile as sometimes it can be difficult for them to voice out and talk about it.

  • Support their decision

Support them even if their decision is not the perfect right solution In your opinion. Feel free to express your thoughts, but keep their choices also in mind. Ask them how you can support them in any decision they took and also try not to tell them what to do. Being overprotective can sometimes be frustrating for patients, let them live their life same as before the diagnosis as far as possible. Let them be in control and independent as long as they can and as long as it’s safe for them

  • Ask them how can you help

Many people are uncomfortable to ask for help. Make small changes like picking them up, shop for their groceries can often take a load off their shoulders and many times they might not even realize that they needed that help until you offered. Do not let them feel like a burden for you, but try small gestures to help them out while retaining their sense of normalcy.

  • Encourage self-care for both of you

Dealing with a cancer diagnosis is stressful and draining. Self-care is very important during this phase. Maybe some yoga or meditation can bring back the peace and positivity you might be lacking. It is important to have the balance between your ind, boy and spirit. This is going to give you both the strength, positivity and inspiration you need for this journey.