Building back your Self-Relationship

Kaajal Gunputh Kaajal Gunputh Nov 27, 2021 543 0

Building back your Self-Relationship

Building back your self-relationship

This is a combination of two of my recent facebook posts whereby i talked about your roots and your healing journey with some additional thoughts.

As a child we recognize and pick up our “normals” from our surroundings. For example, a child growing up in a very calm and affectionate household adapts calmness and affection as his normals compared to someone growing up in a household of quarrels and arguments.

With developing age, when we reach the age of young adults, an independent idea of what a normal life should be is developed into each individuals mind and from here on, we start recognizing what our toxic traits are and how we have been practising since a child. By all means, we aren’t to be blamed because we didn’t choose the situations or conditions in which we were brought up. I call this phase the realisation phase.

Once the realisation phase is over, we enter the healing phase. Now this healing phase is a choice. And it is also the most difficult phase.

I name it healing phase because each of us have been through different traumas during our childhood and this somehow reflects into the person we are today. Traumas leave a significant footprint into the life of a person. It can show up in the form of insecurities, fear, anxiety, trust issues, defensive nature, and the list goes on.  It is of utmost importance to heal, because if not; you are going to bleed on people who didn’t cut you.

This healing journey is going to be full of obstacles. Many people are trying to heal while still living in the same environment and are exposed to trigger every single day. Its not going to be a smooth ride but it is going to be so worth it.

You will be getting the peace that you deserved since you were born and this is going to help you discover your true self and help you bloom to your maximum potential.

Remember that your roots do not stop you to take a new direction. Use your roots to stay grounded and humble but let them not limit your growth. It doesn’t matter where you come from, what matters is who you want to become and how hard are you ready to work for it.

Let no one remind you of your bloodlines to put you down and hold you back. Remember that the only purpose of your blood is to carry oxygen and nutrients and not to define who you are and who you can be.

There will be days during the healing phase where you are going to wake up in a mess. On such days, just hold on, breathe in and realise how far you’ve come, what tremendous progress you’ve achieved and celebrate the small wins. Celebrate the fact that you are moving on slowly but surely and you are already walking on a path to become a better and happier version of yourself.

If you recognise someone walking through their healing phase, please extend support and appreciation. They did not choose to go through their childhood traumas but they are choosing to heal and to become a better person every single day. They won’t be as good as you are however with your support they will definitely be a better version of themselves. Do not shame or bully and do not repeatedly remind them of how they were or the mistakes they’ve done, instead tell them of how beautiful they can be, show them how beautiful is the destination of the path they’ve chosen and extend your hand to help them reach this destination.

 

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